WELCOME! First the disclaimers: NO this is NOT a gloom & doom blog and definitely NOT a threat of any violence to anybody. I am not angry at anybody at all whatsoever and am NOT suicidal and not depressed. I am an educated person with several degrees including theology, and want to BLOG about end-of-life issues ...a reality we must all contend with at one point or another whether we like it or not. Of course, for some, death happens without any warning (plane crash, random accident, murder, etc) while for others it is a slow dawning that your day is coming (you are told you have terminal cancer, or you are getting SO old you know that any day could reasonably be your last day). Yet for others there is a sense that for some reason you might not live a "normal" age and die "normally" if there is such a thing, even if you have no hint of serious physical health issues. And yet for still others dealing of death & dying comes with a growing sense of a need for strong conviction about the meaning of life. Personally, I fit into the latter two categories. I have come to the point of believing that I might not fit into the normal category...since I am 47, not married, no kids...not locked into a career, mortgage, etc, albeit definitely living a purposeful life. Nonetheless, I don't have that "long-term forecast" in my perspective like some others seem to have. My dad, for example, seems to be "locked in" on expecting a long, fruitful life...he took the traditional way...married young, started a career as a pastor, had four kids...worked 9 to 5, bought a house..moved and changed jobs when he felt it was necessary...and helped the kids to go to college..and three of the four kids then duplicated what he did...all three minus me got married, had kids..started careers...and so my dad and mom now have tons of grandchildren to visit with and be visited by. I truly don't think they have a sense of mortality...which may be a bonus for some; whereas for myself I have already begun to think about end of life...and a future life, and eternal life, and salvation. Of course, my dad being a pastor has obviously had to grapple with the same questions ....but for some pastors who take the traditional career ladder it can be as smooth as any other career. Myself, I also ended up in the ministry, but didn't go straight from college to seminary...and didn't get married right away....and then the older I got, the less sense of urgency for marriage ...and now I can't really imagine trying to convince a woman that I am a good prospect ...with not much money, not a "real" career with benefits and high salary etc I am doing something good and purposeful that hopefully is pleasing to God (not that we can earn our salvation but we can show the fruits of the Spirit) . Anyways, each morning I wake up I thank God for another day but increasingly think about "what if I didn't wake up?" or at night "What if I don't wake up tomorrow?" As a Christian am I absolutely at peace with the life I lived? Have I truly come to terms with the assurance of salvation? And sometimes I am not completely at ease. I know all the right Biblical answers, and YES I completely do believe in Jesus Christ as Savior. THis is NOT about a late loss of faith in life, but more about truly facing the fact of mortality, my own and others. I have also worked in death-&-dying settings (an emergency room as a social worker intern, for a program I didn't complete : and also as a chaplain intern in a hospital where death & dying is an everyday issue). This blog is about preparing to die. I don't have an outline of what I will post here...it will be random...stay tuned for more. God bless you all. And when I say "Prepare to die" I mean that in a good way...knowing that it is a transition to TRUE LIFE...a better place...it's just a matter of getting ready!
